jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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