sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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