so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
someone owes me an orgasm
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
my liver is dry heaving
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
