Duck Duck Cougar?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
this hospital has no fireball
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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