I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize