I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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