Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
