if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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