I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
