I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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