he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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