Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
