i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
