guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
