forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I miss vodka workout Fridays
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
