I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Sober January is a disaster.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
