I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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