All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
