i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
