Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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