I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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