that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
