This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled if crying burns calories
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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