i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize