She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
