508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
