OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
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my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
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its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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