i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
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You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
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Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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