How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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