We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
