So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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