no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
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