i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Your penis caused this!
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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