my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Sorry about my life...
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
