Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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