Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
