Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
