wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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