I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
