so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
