i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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