this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
