just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
