And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
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He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
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We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Randomize