my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
These tits shall not be calmed
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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