hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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