So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
