ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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