Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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