You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
