she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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