i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
