this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
