You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
