We're like a lot better than the average bears
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
