my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
