I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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