Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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