Sry I called you an 8
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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