drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
