Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
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