Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just saw a hot homeless man
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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