She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
