is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
