Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
