your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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